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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Application for the VP of the US

Dear John,

I had an eureka moment last night -- I am way more qualified than Sarah Palin to be the VP of the United States of America. Since she hasn’t been officially nominated, I hereby submit my application for your kind consideration. Well, here are just a few reasons why I should be your running mate, wink wink:

1. I am also a woman, and a cute one at that, hehe.

2. My education has prepared me to be the VP of the US. I have a BA in Political Science and a JD in law. Gov. Palin, on the other hand, has a BA in journalism which the last I checked does not teach the fundamentals of governance in America.

3. I have a ton of foreign diplomatic experience. As noted in my previous entry, I met with the Queen of England on a recent trip there, and as evidenced by this blog, I’ve travelled world over, Asia, Europe, Central America. The only trip abroad Gov. Palin has taken is a trip to Kuwait and Germany to visit Alaskan troops. And apparently Gov. Palin’s husband had the mistaken notion that Alaska is a separate country from the US, tsk tsk, they need to seriously brush upon their world geography!

4. I don’t have any skeletons in the closet, no trooper-gate, bridge-to-no-where gate, moose-gate, the only blemish on my record is a red light camera traffic citation *blush*. Oh well, nobody is perfect. On a brighter note, I had a big smile on the red light camera pic and I even made a peace sign!

5. Yeah, some may say that Gov. Palin has after all been governor for two years, and I have never held office. But according to Mrs. McCain’s Experience by Proximity Test, I am really way more experienced than Gov. Palin. You see, Mrs. McCain argued that since Alaska is close to Russia, Gov. Palin is therefore experienced in the foreign relations arena. Following that logic, I lived within a few miles of Washington DC for many many years, and worked right next to the White House for two years! I therefore must have a ton of government experience!

In conclusion, I am the perfect candidate for VP! Oh yeah, there might be one minor glitch, I was not born in the US so hence barred by the Constitution to be VP. But eh, we didn’t have problem falsifying evidence of WMD, a fake birth certificate should be a piece of cake for us!




Anonymous said...

Only thing left is to to change that pesky constitutional provision about having to born in the US... technicalities... J :)

Anonymous said...

China is only separated from the US by half an ocean. I think McCain can make an exception.

Cat said...

Oh peeps, that's such a minor problem, we are going to forge a birth certificate...

Anonymous said...

You can hire the people who allegedly forged the gymasts' documents. I bet they'll do it for $2. Or a night in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Anonymous said...

I don't neccessarily agree that one's education backgroud is one of the most critical qualifications as a VP or president... For example, the current president George Bush...However, given the state of Alaska is thinly populated, there might be more animals than people, it would be easier to govern than for example the NY state....In addition, 5 kids and 1 with special needs is a full time job for both of the parents. I worked for someone, a man in the similar situation, he and his wife barely had anytime period. So it's not a woman/man issue, it's a numbers issue in my opinion. Raising 5 kids does take more time than raising just 1 or 2. Frances